Oh oh oh this is precious and I cannot resist it. Kamenashi Kazuya is modelling for Hermès 2008 collection! In a pink jumper! Glee, oh Kame you dearest darling girl. Tell me your exfoliation secrets! (He’d never tell and that is sort of why I sometimes have issues with Kame? Ehhh).

Quick quick, someone tell me. What’s Japanese for “blue steel”? Aoi… hagane?! *pouts*

I caught this just before I am due to dash off for cocktails (darling) so when I get home, hopefully sozzled on Cosmopolitans, I shall have to watch Zoolander and screech “Kaaaa-ME!!” at the screen whenever Derek comes on. Fun for me, perhaps less fun for my flatmate and long suffering neighbours?

Putting the “cute” into “oxy-cute”, it’s time for the new round of Johnnys endorsements! Happy day. First batters up are Jin Akanishi and Koki Tanaka from KAT-TUN flogging Oxy facial cleanser! Doooozo:

Oh look! The 80s finally figured out how their beeper works and are PAGING KOKI’S HAIR. Jin’s glorious cheek-slapping is worth a thousand blackheads and his glorious grin at 11 seconds in is the one that appears when he walks into doors, teases tigers before he realises they have claws &so. Back on the Husband list with you, Akanishi.

I find it strange for some reason that Koki advertises cleanser, for some reason I imagine Koki to have the most pock-marked skin throughout the whole of Johnnys. I can’t justify this in any way apart from saying that “he seems the type”, ha? I feel like Koki’s entire rub-gangsta shtick could well spring from a self-defence response from high-school adolescent acne-related teasing. His early big hair deliberately puffed up, like a lion’s mane! “Don’t come near me! I bite”! And then he sheds a lonely tear when he’s back in his bedroom at home, and angrily clenches his fist at his P-diddy posters and that poster of the half-nude girl on a Harley Davidson… oh, Koki!

(However it turns out that the most pock-marked may be… everyone’s darling, Jun Matsumoto! I saw a clip from a random show the other day, and woosh! He’s got scars. Bless you, Matsujun, and your pizza-like FACE, ilu).