Hey Say JUMP! straddle an odd divide for me, in that they’re a debuted band, yet they are all about TEN YEARS OLD (save for Hikaru and Yabu and perhaps Takaki?) – so I shouldn’t really still be bracketing them in the “Juniors” label in my head. But… sheesh, they’ve now been about for a year and their fourth single is coming out next week. It is called Mayonaka no Shadow Boy, which I would assume means “Shadow Boy’s Mayonnaise Middle”. But then I look it up, and it means MIDNIGHT SHADOW BOY! Awesome!! I await the Shakespear’s Sister style PV with baited breath! Still. Fourth single??? They had a third?! Dudes, this is lame, I pay more attention to Yamashita Shoon (check him out with ABC performing “Higher Fly”! It’s GREAT) and AWFUL-YET-NOW-MAYBE-I-LOVE-THEM KIS-MY-FT-2. At least they’re still doing Shonen Club skits, I am still yet to see HSJ be interesting EVARRRR.

Anyway, it appears their third second! single was Dreams Come True (after Ultra Music Power, BEFORE Your Seed, okay gotcha) which I am watching for the first time RIGHT NOW on youtube (well it’s a Friday – work?? Work shmerk). My jaw is agape, “no-budget” has been redefined. They’ve put Chinen in a cricket jumper. I LOVE cricket jumpers but CHINEN IS SHORTER THAN A CRICKET BAT!! Keep the cricket jumpers for Akanishi and Nakamaru please. Please, I mean, seriously, it’s enough to reduce me to a heaving mess. Anyway – oh dear, 49 seconds in and Takaki Yuya spins across the screen with that flicky hair and smirk. Hilariously, he is wearing a leather jacket and leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets trying to be NONCHALANT. I love it!!

But just wait until 2 minutes in and Hikaru gets a Flying V guitar! OK, I’ve been a sucker for the Flying V ever since Tim Wheeler first wheeler-ed (wielded? did that work?) one in the early days of Ash. Importantly, the flying V appears during a SQUIDGY SYNTH BREAK where NO GUITARS ARE PLAYED AT ALL. Hurrah!!

Speaking of Takaki, (as I sort of was), apparently back in February he was the hottest er… er… young person? This according to February 2008’s Anan magazine, which some of you may know as “that” naked Yamashita Tomohisa photoshoot with the Russian lady straight outta Torchwood.  Turns out that someone got me a copy, and it was handed to me over some delicious ginger cake and orange juice last night. Trying to hide your pornography from the other fifteen people gathered round the table was a little awkward, but I think I got away with it. Until now of course, when I’m talking about it on the internet. Hi everybody!

Whilst I’m here, updating our ‘about’ page with our answers to NEWS Question 10 from Aug 05’s “Wink Up”, let’s have at some more of those Anan 2008 ratings we love so much. If you don’t rate your idols, you can’t prove you like them! Let’s have it.

JOLLY GOOD CHUMS! Top Idol “most wanted as a friend” – my dearest Aiba Masaki (aiba-chan, super idol! honestly, it’s better than how it sounds). Others appear to be non-JE and off my radar. So, JE better at s3x then long conversations about feelings? You never.

THE GOOD WILL OUT: Idol you “most want to embrace” – Jin Akanishi! This is quite a good list actually – it goes Jin, Kame (!! he’d snap in two!), Yamapi, Twinkie (Koike Teppei!) and Ikuta Toma. His stock is GOING UP! Go Toma! Go Toma!

DING DONG THE BELLS ARE GONNA CHIME: Idol you “most want to marry” – at #4 it’s Arashi’s Sakurai Sho. What?! Because he read the news or something?! I genuinely wonder. I don’t know that much about Sho so if any Sho lovers want to sho (ha! ha!) me his marriageworthy points I am all ears! Goro from SMAP is at #5! Ha! How does it feel to be under your kouhai!!

OXY-CUTE ‘EM: “Cutest Idol”! At #1, dewy eyed love moppet Yamada Ryosuke. SHOCK ME. Psyche! #2, Twinkie. #3, Ninomiya Kazunariiiii~~! #4 Ikuta Toma (!! baffling! CUTE?? Delicious Grecian nose, perhaps? piercing eyes? A certain… grace? But… in the same bracket as DELM, Twinkie and Nino?!) – esp when you see #5 – Chinen Yuuri. Lilly has recently been spotted sporting braids. I am not even joking.

ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE? The top “cool and funny” idols feature our only Kanjani8 representation from JE, with Yokoyama You at #3. Yoko is the humour filling in a sandwich of Aiba-chan at #2 and Domoto Koichi at #4.

Noteworthy: Sakurai Sho and GORO also duplicate appearances in “most intellectual idol”. Goes to show, Anan readers may embrace (even f**k) dear ole Kimutaku, but it looks like they’ll only be walking down the aisle with idols who can demonstrate some intelligence. Hey – I never said much intelligence. Did I mention Yamapi has a degree now? Yer get meh?

And what a surprise to see dark horse Kimutaku at #1. Oh, hold on, I mean, please! Snooze.

“Kimura also repeated last year’s feat of ranking highest in four other categories: Man I’d Most Like to Sleep With, Man I’d Most Want as a Boyfriend, Sexiest Man, and Most Stylish Man.”

I suppose it’s better than “Best Jeanist” (hi Kame). WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Anyway. On with the list!

()compared to last year’s ranking
1. Kimura Takuya (15th year at #1 spot) (-) (“(-)” somehow seems to say it all…)
2. Fukuyama Masaharu (-) (one of the most exciting things about this idol is that he gave up smoking. WOOOO).
3. Akanishi Jin (+5) (OK this is a Tarzan cover, but whatever)
4. Matsumoto Jun (+1)
5. Nakai Masahiro (-2)
6. Yamashita Tomohisa (+8)
7. Katori Shingo (-1)
8. Okada Junichi (-4)
9. Oguri Shun (+10)
10. Kusanagi Tsuyoshi (+1)
11. Kamenashi Kazuya (-1)
12. Inagaki Goro (-3) (aww)
13. Tsumabuki Satoshi (-6)
14. Sakurai Sho (+7)
15. Domoto Koichi (-)
16. Ninomiya Kazunari (+2)
17. Eita (+9)
18. Nagase Tomoya (-2)
19. Tamaki Hiroshi (+5)
20. Nishikido Ryo (+2)
21. Ikuta Toma (new)
22. Kenichi Matsuyama (new)
23. Takizawa Hideaki (-11)
24. Ohkura Tadayoshi (+3)
25. Mokomichi Hayami (-8)
26. Koike Teppei (-3)
27. Ichihara Hayato (new)
28. Narimiya Hiroki (-) (Nrrghh)
29. Koide Keisuke (+1)
30. Miura Haruma (new)

18 Johnnys out of 30! Obviously, I don’t know who any of the others are apart from linked-to-Johnnys Satoshi Tsumabuki (Lunch Queen with #6) and Oguri Shun (who was in Stand Up!! with #6 and Gokusen2 with #3). A new entry at #21 brings delight to my heart! I thought it might be the influence of Maou, but Ohno Satoshi (sto-nerrrr) is nowhere to be seen, and it might not even have started airing when this poll was collated. Congrats Toma!