Posted by: sarah | October 28, 2008

Top Five Johnnys Dads (on points)

Gulp, it has been a while since the last post hasn’t it. Oh dear! I’m sorry, I am silly busy and haven’t had time for drama catchup. Right now I am full of stress, so let’s diffuse it with a silly list which doesn’t require an hour plus of drama dedication and can just be poured straight out from my head…


ie, which johnnys are the best dads ever and should have nine billion babies each ideally by ME. For the avoidance of doubt, dad points are analysed upon cuteness with children, ability to put up shelves, the owning of ‘power tools’ and ability to carve a roast. As I am not sure how frequently roast dinners are actually consumed in Japan, until someone can suggest an equivalet Dad Skills test I will leave this out of the analysis.

1. Tatsuya Yamaguchi (TOKIO) – who sort of has to be on the list because he has a little YamaBaby and has done the ‘voice-acting’ for Kung-Fu Panda. These facts are sort of unrelated, except it’s a nice coincidence… I think it’s a little tribute for YamaBaby when he’s old enough to get into pandas. 10/10 philips screwdrivers.
2. Jin Akanishi (KAT-TUN). No no, hear me out. Evidence #1: all tiny toddler girls instantly love him and cling to his legs SCIENCE FACT (hem hem and some older girls would as well but that’s aside). Evidence #2, from Kota Yabu himself: “Even now I remember when Akanishi-kun would hold my hand and walk with me but I refused saying ‘you’re embarassing’! That time, Akanishi-kun told me ‘be by my side until 3rd year in middle school’. (Never mind that Yabu goes on to say that this is now how he feels about uglyface Keito from HSJ). Omg, yes I know you could read this as creepy but I choose oh my god that is so sweet to look after the juniors waaah. Evidence #3: waaaaaaa my ovaries! The only thing which leaves me a bit unsure as to whether Jin has further dad points is his ability to put up shelves. I sort of don’t trust him with a hammer. I also hope that he has not fathered many illiegitimate children already and was sent to LA as a result, because I think that would break my heart a little, noooooes. 8/10 carving knives.
3. Yuichi Nakamaru (KAT-TUN) – my evidence here concerns the treatment of Hikaru Yaotome in that a/ Nakamaru has been spotted giving Hikaru piggybacks backstage at the Johnnys Sports Event and b/ protects poor ole Hikaru from the smooching advances of Koki Tanaka backstage at Summary. DAD SKILLS! And srsly Koki, with the molesting, stop it! 7/10, because seriously that piggyback was amazing.
4. Sho Sakurai (Arashi)- a commenter linked me to a youtube video where Sho changes nappies in a very competent manner and a small baby falls asleep on him, arrghh! Aiba stood by and chuckled, ha ha. Sho gets 5/10, because no hand-clapping games.
5. Uh. I’ve run out of Johnnys! Who am I forgetting! Your suggestions please! Which Johnny do you think knows how to use a spirit level? I know Tsuyoshi Domoto likes fishing, which is pretty high up on dad skills, but… Tackey, perhaps? He did spend a *lot* of time cuddling baby Yamapi… oh, so difficult!

You may be wondering where Keiichiro Koyama is in the list – surely Keiichiro spends half of his life cuddling and caring about his juniors? What about the time when Yabu (I think?) burst into tears on the Ya-yah-yah show and needed a cuddle? Was it Koyama? Yes! And this is why Koyama is the MUM of all Johnnys ever! Mum points are analysed in: likelihood of looking good in a floral apron, cooking homemade food and wiping tears/snot from face with a hanky. Oh Koyama! I love him so much to him…

Most useless post ever. I’m sorry. Sort of. You wouldn’t get this sort of nonsense on neojaponisme would you…



  1. Jin has MUM POINTS not dad points, look at that face he is making! also that story from Yabu is totally about Jin being his mum taking him to school~~

  2. Don’t make me do a list of Top Five Johnnys Mums.

    (#1 keiii-chan, #2 jinjin, #3 i dunno – yoko? – he could easily be the embarassing wacky mum outside the school gates who wipes your nose with a hanky then drops her bag and everything goes over the floor and SHE thinks its hilarious and you’re just like oh GOD mum you’re so embarassing~~~~ – actually that would go x2364872 for junno wd it not – perhaps it’s a ‘cast of yukan club’ thing).

  3. i like to think that all of kanjani8 would make hilarious embarrassing mums, if not just that crazy aunt who you always have to go and visit and you sort of suspect she’s a witch but no-one will believe you.


    I dare you to go and knock on Ryo’s door and run away I dare you I dare you chicken cowardy custard.

  5. Watching Jin hold yabu’s face in his junior years proves the sweet side of Jin for little kids. (at that time, yabu was a kid, of course)

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