Posted by: sarah | June 4, 2009

I believe i believe what the old man says

I don’t know if when Mr. Johnny starts rumbling in Johnny Towers, that it is ACTUALLY possible to hear it from my dingy London bedsitter* – but don’t you think those Johnnys Juniors have actually been doing *stuff* lately? Well, what I mean is, I guess I paid a little more attention because work has been dull lately, or perhaps they’re just being louder? Or perhaps FAVOURITISM, and it’s ugly mirrorface, HATERADE is rearing it’s ugly head.

Have I mentioned that one of my favourite Juniors is random Kansai Jr Bunichi Hamanaka? He is my favourite for the following reasons. 1. Phil Oakey hair. 2. His name has “bun” in it. 3. Hamanaka is a super craft brand in the J-pan who make brilliant crochet hooks which I am a big fan of. If I weren’t already going to get RSI from searching Japanese google for pictures of Jin Akanishi’s pants then these crochet hooks would help. So I think of Phil, I mean, Bunichi, and my hands and heart feel soothed. Isn’t that nice.

ANYWAY – so I like I say, I wasn’t paying much attention, and then I caught an episode of the Shonen Club. Bunichi has now been yanked from the back pages of the idol mags by Mr. Hideaki Takizawa (I am sorry I forgot your first name on the radio, Tackey…) to form a new Jr group under Tackey’s direction called Butoukan (gawd ppl on LJ are quick and googleable, yes?) which means: Dance! Fight! Take the crow(n)! How excitable! I hear they are a “dance unit”, but what does this mean?! All Johnnys dance – from the “Now and Forever” PV I’m not seeing anything special. No “the worm”, nary even a caterpillar… yet! I think this is good news, and the first time I have ever ‘supported’ a Junior who hasn’t been dashed on the rocks of fate. Oh Yamashita Shoon, wind waker. I still love you you know, you deserve better than the back pages of idol mags. Are you REALLY a law student?! If any readers know whether Shoon Yamashita is now a law student could you please tell me? IT IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS.

This can’t really count as haterade – you will see why – whilst Phil, I mean, Bunichi, is my favourite Kansai Jr, my least favourite is Yuma Nakayama. UGHHHHH from his awful gurning face which haunts my nightmares, to his stupid last name which tries to make out he could have the strange unnatural beauty of NAKAmaru Yuichi and the ROOLZ!POWER of YAMAshita Tomohisa (some may say he cannot help his last name, and that it is hardly an uncommon name on any of their parts, and to those points I say PAFFF), his terrible teeth (Johnnys frequently have terrible teeth I know! It pulls at my heartstrings but Nakayama gets bad teeth WRONG, I mean how is that even POSSIBLE) – ahkfgasfgskfga. Something about him makes me get a headache. And then I worry that – perhaps the problem is me?! I am reacting against him because he is not the Perfect Johnny? And Johnnys has scuppered my ability to acknowledge people outside of the ridiculous photoshopped appeal of the hordes of pretty?? And then I think – GAHHHH and I dislike Nakayama even MORE.

But now I think I might have to like him! And the reason is thus: today I hear Nakayama (and Shintaro Morimoto who is actually a foetus) is appearing in a new Fuji tv drama called “Koishite Akuma ~ Vampire Boy.” <– dude. Vampires AND a tilde?! I am so there! Matchy is going to be in it too! Whether he is going to be Daddy Cullen I know not. But, srsly – I think Mr Johnny has been catching up with Twilight – AND I THINK I LIKE IT.

I shall stop now, save to ponder that if Matchy is going to appear with some Jrs in a drama, what of his old unit pals – Question Question Mark? (I used to hate them as well, for playing their own instruments and being all “ooh i’m very good, look at me, look at the weasel in my guitar, ooh yes double arpeggio THAT, Daisuke, ooh very gooood”, but then I came round to them and their silly little faces. Now I like them almost as much as chocolate “pudding”! They are sort of the Pans People of Johnnys I suppose – the distracting “actual music” element rather than the interpretative dance which constitutes so much of the rest of the wonderful televisual experience that is the rest of idolworld…).

NEXT: will someone remind me to post what I’ve been meaning to post about for a couple of weeks – The Quiz Show starring Arashi’s Sho Sakurai (THIS TIME HE’S A MENTAL!) and Kanjani8’s Yoooou Yokoyama (this time he’s EVIL, OH HE IS)? I mainlined four episodes in a row before my last exam and if I fail I am going to blame it on the effort I had in suspending my disbelief that I was supposed to be able to hold ANY sort of belief that anything in the show could srsly happen for more than ONE SECOND. Does anyone else have the problem that whenever they think of YOOOOU from Kanjani8, that they have to say it in a Soulja Boy Tellem voice? YOOOUUUU!!! Just me then? OK. (it’s not my fault – i was fine when everyone romanised it as ‘yuu’, but when it’s ‘you’? I can’t help it!!)

*nb I do not actually live in a bedsitter, but I do love the word. Does anyone use it these days apart from Marc Almond obsessives and poor unfortunates who read too many terrible “crime club” novels? But THAT is a post for Freaky Trigger when I get round to it… needless to say if you find anything by “Simon Brett”, NEVER READ IT. SO BAD. UGHHHHH.


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