Posted by: sarah | August 12, 2009

Orthrus no Inu – episode 1

New season drama? With Takizawa Hideaki, Nishikido Ryo and Hikaru Yaotome? A reference to a two-headed dog in the title? The premise? Nishikido Ryo has the heart of an angel… but can kill with just one touch. Takizawa Hideaki has the heart of a devil – but has healing hands! Together they… they… they? Touch each other and cancel each other out? Everyone who I have spoken to about this drama reacts, “whut??”. I have to watch it.

Orthrus no Inu – Orthrus’s Dog. For background: Orthrus was a dog, rather than someone who had a dog – he was the brother of Cerberus – the less famous one who didn’t sell out for a spot in the Aenid. Orthrus had two heads rather than three, and his map was eliminated by Heracles as part of his tenth labour. Two heads = a binary = do you see. (Yes, I know it doesn’t really either). Orthrus doesn’t appear in “Myths and Legends” and I suspect won’t really come up in this drama either… let’s recap this biz.

Night. Heavy rain, pounding the streets. A man stands on a rooftop, brooding… watching. Looking out over the…. City of Angels. A vampire with a sou- oh hang on, wait! That Epic Historical hair… I’d recognise it anywhere. That’s not David Boreanz, the butter-sucking vampire. This is not Los Angeles. This is the one, the only, the Takizawa Hideaki! And we’re not watching Angel – no matter what the director of the show seems to think. More rain pours. Tackey sucks on a stick of butter. Down 50 storeys, Nishikido Ryo – soaked to the skin – is in a police station confessing… to a murder. Nishikido stares at his hands.

A portentous Tackey voiceover.

“If there was a way to change the world… is God the only one allowed to?”

The camera tilts.

Shifts. Aha… I think I see what type of drama this shall be.

Tilt yr neck and flashback with me, to happier times, where cameras were steady and our necks less cricked. Ryo Nishikido is Aoi Ryosuke, attempting to convince the police he’s a killer. Let’s flashback before we get bored of this. Ryo (oh thank goodness, I can keep calling him Ryo when the lines between idol and character blur…), is a genial teacher at a gurl’s private school. White shirt, cream waistcoat, pink tie. Possibly the worst outfit ever. Dressing as a Peaches and Cream Chupa Chup might work onstage with NEWS, with a LOT more sparkles – but not here, dear heart. Turn to page 22, students.

Interspersal with shots from the police station, here’s a Detective Hasebe pulling a Calleigh duCane at the start of CSI Miami. Gun gun shoot shoot boom boom pow.

Wide-eyed pupil by the name of Shirakawa approaches Aoi after class for A Talk. Her tense expression matched with Aoi’s caught in the headlights expression makes me think this is going to lead to a teacher-touched-me accusation, but no, thank goodness. Shirakawa thinks she’s in danger – she overheard some dealers at a club discussing Dark Matters. Outfit watch: is that a pleather shift dress, ginger wig and cowboy hat? The Dealers are discussing some girl, who they didn’t kill – they just left her on the mountain. Uh-oh. Best stay out of this conversation and hope they never notice you…



Uh-oh. The dealers look up. Pleather!Shirakawa shuts the door quickly.

Back to school, tense expressions across the table. Fixed grin still plastered on, Aoi tells her that without any evidence, the police are unlikely to believe her. (I’m not sure why he’s saying this – unless we’re meant to make deductions from the outfit that she’s somehow a Bad Girl – all she’s done is overheard a bad conversation, it’s not like she was buying drugs from them or there’s another personal connection that would prejudice testimony? Aoi tells Shirakawa not to worry, and he’ll raise the issue with the Principal.

“Don’t worry! Leave it to me!” – oh foreshadowing do I hear your dulcet tones?

Tower block. Shirakawa running. Inevitable conclusion is inevitable – she trips, falls down the stairs. The Dealers, for it is they, hot on her heels, steadier in their stylish yet affordable boots. She appears to be grasping several baggies of large orange pills. Hard evidence, I’d say? Hard pavement, too. She falls. She doesn’t get up. The dealers pick up the baggies – but leave one in her hand. Camera Angle = challenging and edgy. Get used to this, friends.

From the city to the fields – RAVE ON FEEL DA VOIB: young people! neon colours! this can lead to no good. There’s lots of whopping and hollering, which I for one would find really fucking ANNOYING at a rave but whatever. here’s UNdercover and UNconvincing Detective Hasebe, throwing herself at a That Dealer Again for, DRUGS. Hint 1. Perhaps you shouldn’t wear your suit when you go to psytrance raves? I’m sure it IS your shortest one, and by gum there’s nothing wrong with being dedicated to your work and having outfits to match, but couldn’t the undercover department bring you a fluffy bra and some hotpants?

God that’s a lot of Look going on with the Dealer. Bling street style, conspicuous power displays and depiction of wealth is one thing – but you never see that do you? From the kids in Gokusen (as gangsta as Bob the Fluffy Bunny) to these kids. It’s the JE renzoku yankii paint by numbers kit. Bleach job, bad perm, leopard print shirt, tats. What did “Men’s Egg” ever do to NHK? That Dealer Again is taking a shine to Unconvincing Detective, but other dealer – Kumakiri looks more suspicious. Kumakiri appears to have a barbed-wire tattoo that spirals around his body from lower arm to halfway up neck which is ambitious considering he’s about 12.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. Kumakiri is Hikaru Yaotome! Full disclosure – I still miss Ya-Ya-Yah, I love Hikaru and his wonky teeth, and he is pretty much the only reason why I bothered to hear the first couple of Hey!Say!JUMP songs.

I was secretly pleased when Hikaru (and Yabu) were spared the exasperated “oh must we” sighs of appearing in Gokusen 3, but seems the forces still want to get him in yankii garb anyway. Does JE have *any* appeal to yr average Egg reader? Is this the way JE tries to flog their idols to those into that sort of thing? What socioeconomic class does JE aim towards anyway? I know that “London Drunks” can’t be ENTIRELY representative… I’m sure that some people would say JE is so monopolistic it doesn’t need anything so déclassé as a market share when IT IS THE MARKET. I’m trying to find an excuse for the hair product. In bed with L’Oreal? Aaaaanyway this is by the by.

Kumakiri nurses a plastic pint glass full of beer and scowls. Urge to pinch his cheeks and buy him another pint – just for the adorability! – rises.

WEEDY TUSSLE as Unconvincing Detective reveals herself as a Detective. Well done. I’ll call you UCD from now on. Kumakiri nabs the gun from UCD, who puts up feeble resistance for about 2 seconds – this is Tokyo’s Finest?? – and grins manically as he raises his arm. Revealing a set of deliciously wonky teeth. I revel silently. Kumakiri fires, gets Hasebe in the arm. UCD struggles a little more in her restraints until Violet Elizabeth Nishikido runs in yelling and promptly falls over his feet, right on top of That Dealer Again. Kumakiri starts whaling on Aoi , kicking him in the head with what looks like a good element of relish. You know how J&A members being violent is generally unconvincing/cartoonish? I’m starting to feel some weight behind those kicks, Hikaru. Do we have a kouhai/sempai re-wenge situation manifesting itself? Will we have to wait for fanficcers to tell us?

That Dealer Again (whose name is Shuuhei but who cares), about to fire at UCD. Aoi grabs him into a bear hug, and a pulse the colour of wet stone radiates across his body. His veins go black and lace across his body. A deep cuttlefish black. His eyes roll in his head in a really quite icky manner. Cool? Hikaru growls, and after some impressive face pulling at Aoi, who is like, just standing there, wondering whether he left the oven on or not, legs it. UCD faints. Aoi stares at his hands. Oh god, I’m going to be singing Men Without Hats forever, aint I? The body lies in front of him. Dead.


Back to the cop shop. Another CSI: Miami rip off option? A coroner/forensic who croons over the corpses on the table like Alexx with 2 xes. Don’t know this coroners name. UCD asks for cause of death, and Manic Pixie Coroner chirps “tenbatsu”, aka “divine punishment”. Otherwise known as a happy-looking heart attack. UCD sighs, and asks for possible causes. No drug use evidenced. Stun gun? Language fans: Japanese for ‘stun gun’ is “stun gun”. UCD is also investigating a case called Skeletal College Girl. Not expanded upon further this episode. Just… FYI.

Debrief room, or something. UCD’s superior runs in, high-blood-pressurises at UCD for her risky behaviour and suspends her from further action. How handy. We can see her go home so we can meet her mandatory Adorable Small Child At Home Who Misses Her Mummy.

Back in the present. Aoi has managed to get past reception and is in the cells, confessing to the murder of Dealer A. Well actually, right now, he’s sitting staring through a very thick fringe whilst the police are all “huh. right” from behind a two-way mirror. UCD is there, despite being suspended . Oh yet another flashback to the club where Shirakawa overheard the dealers and a recap of the conversation I just recapped. In the old days we had corridor scenes for padding. What, NHK, can’t you afford another corridor? Update: Shirakawa’s dress wasn’t pleather. I made that up because I am – apparently – insane. Hasebe asks what happened with Dealer A. He says ‘what happened is what happened’. Helpful!

Aoi stares at his hands some more. CHALLENGING CAMERA ANGLE…. and he rasps…

“My hands are… the hands of the Devil”.
They look pretty nice to me, Ryo-chan.

Cut to a French restaurant. Autopsy lady is describing her beautiful corpse with relish, tenbatsu and describing the delicious quantity of meat that tastes better when it’s not stressed before it’s killed. Getting off on your corpses, much? She’s having dinner with some beardy fellow named Sawamaru, “Japan’s Mr. C.I.A”. They drink from large wine glasses. Not as large as in Korean dramas but what could ever be? Sawamaru looks intrigued~.

Aoi gets banged up. His shirt is lilac. Now he looks like a Parma Violet.

More disclosure: I’ve just finished watching the Quiz Show, which featured another work-focused fairly high powered female (although her male boss makes a powerful presence from the start JUST IN CASE you were concerned she might be like in charge or whatever), with another Adorable Small Child At Home Who Misses Her Mummy. It was a bit – uh. On cue: UCD goes home to meet her AMCAHWMHM. Pigtails check. Missing teeth, check. Small child sleeps with an asthma diary by her bed, which has a REALLY OMINOUS CLOSE UP on it, so perhaps we’re meant to think her asthma is kinda life threatening? Uh – wasn’t there another drama a while back with life threatening asthma? Argh, what was it. Yes, I know asthma *can* be serious….
Shugo Oshinari appears to be babysitting MASC. Shugo! I loved you in Yamada Tarou…

Shugo appears to be a researcher from a pharmaceutical company… and does a bit of promo for euthanasia as a use for being able to kill with a single touch. “Didn’t you wish you had the power?” “Does it have something to do with your job?” UCD changes the subject, and the babysitting… researcher… leaves. That seemed pointless… and… confusing. Presence of Pharma in the home? Fears of intrusive research on adorable children for an Agenda?

The streets. Rain. A homeless has been arrested, screaming about hands of the devil. UCD links them, starts howling at her boss for more information – DESPITE BEING SUSPENDED – oh whatever… Ninomiya, the homeless guy, used to be a policeman. After witnessing a triple homicide, he lost everything, mind first it seems. A flashback shows three twitching corpses pans to reveal Ryuzaki (Tackey!), standing over them, deadpan .A bloodstained knife lies on the floor.

“I wonder if it was really a knife”, UCD muses. OK, in the real world, wouldn’t her superior just be pressing a discreet health and safety button alarm under the desk for paranoid delusion?

EMO GUITARS. A pan across Ryuzaki, white pyjamas, bare feet. Death row.

UCD heads to see prison head, Sugimoto. His head office appears to be leftover from the set of Yuukan Club, in the whole beige and yellow tone thing, like if it had been sold to the public sector. Sugimoto is shot exclusively on a slant, creepy music plays, he attempts a bribe – first for catch, then for a grope. Okaaaay… luckily, UCD easily throws him off, and mashes up his face for good value.

More ominous close-ups, now of brick and bars.

Ryuzaki’s cage has a huge painting of a biblical scene. Hahahaha! No idea what it is. I’ll try and add a screenshot at some point.

UCD spouts off about Dead Dealer, and how he was killed by someone who claims he can kill with a single touch. She gives Ryuzaki Aoi’s name and shows him his photo. Crossly she says that no-one seems to believe her crazy story about devil hands.

“Three years ago, you killed three people. Could it have been you have the same power?”

Sugimoto laughs. Totally wrong.

“Just by touching… his hand can cure any wound, or illness”.

Ryuzaki broods.

“His hands are… the hands of God”.

OMG!! The binary! Do you see! UCD double-takes. Sugimoto leaves, and Ryuzaki pads silently to the front of the cage and faces UCD.

“Do you really believe in such a power? “, Ryuzaki asks. “There are many things that only exist because people believe in them.”


“An example. Gorillas at the beginning of the 20th century were thought as imaginary creatures”.


“If people believe, it will exist”.

So, Ryuzaki – your logic is that Gorilllas didn’t exist until enough people shouted loudly enough that they believed in fairies?? What a criminal genius mind you have! I shall eat it with a nice chianti and… some fava beans. So, people believed in gorillas, and then they existed, therefore, if you believe he has healing hands – he has healing hands. Despite the fact that you know he has healing hands, because Prison Warden has just told you. Which of course, makes perfect sense – you wouldn’t want to be keeping something like that secret, would you? It occurs to me that we’re making huge leaps here – Ryuzaki is locked away for murdering 3 kids with a knife. One homeless guy who saw the crime scene yells about “devil hands” and suddenly UCD is disbelieving in gorillas and er – uh – er I am going to have to quickly move on.

Ryuzaki dismisses her with instructions to bring Aoi to him, and ponders over Aoi’s photo in a way that doesn’t appear at all EVIL or PLOTTING. At alllll.

Next scene: The Hotel Lastat! Ahahahahhaa. Everyone’s looking rather pale… this scene is slightly confusing but I am sure it will Mean Something in Due course. A pharmaceutical boss is visiting the Minister of Social Welfare who is laid up in bed. This is completely hush hush. She has a heart problem and apparently, if the media found out, it would be “the end of her life as a politician”. The pharma guy says it is essential to them that she survives, to win the next presidential race. So, some sort of politician in the hands of a Big Pharma lobby, then? Pharma in politics, pharma in the home.

IMPORTANT INTERLUDE. Aoi finds a box of puppies. He cuddles the puppies, and as the paw over his hand, looks pensive, and traumatised. The Piano of Abandoned Puppies plays, Aoi walks off – oh the poignancy! So innocent, but in the hands of a killer. The piano keeps playing through a scene, as UCD explains about Ryuzaki’s God Hand. And just in case we didn’t Get It – a cut shot to the hospital, where Shirakawa is in a coma. The piano swells to the “What Is It With Nishikido Ryo And The Old Bed-Side Manner Dance” peak, strings and all.

Back at the Prison. UCD has successfully delivered Aoi – on the basis that Hands Of A Feather [Should] Stick Together? Does she think they need a mutual support group? That… what?? Ryuzaki is locked up for murderising in the conventional way, Aoi wants to be locked up for murdering in the Devil’s Hand way. What benefit will accrue from meeting privatelyThe advert previews by the way, give away THE ENTIRE NEXT like, 20 minutes. Way to go.

There are some terrible enforcing shots here. Everyone POINTS at each other, DRAMATICALLY, with their HANDS, because this drama is all about HANDS. Groan.

Because this is sane, UCD and Prison Guy let Ryuzaki and Aoi have a Private Conversation. Aoi approaches the cell to find Ryuzaki standing bolt upright in the cell, waiting. I facepalm. Tackey: Yoshitsune you might have been, but Anthony Hopkins you are NOT. The cell doesn’t appear to be under surveillance – no cameras watching someone so dangerous he has his own special solitary cell made of plastic and jam?? Sure. All the prison budget spent on hiring that Yukan Club set. Prison Warden has his wounds healed, and – exit. Leaving two known killers with unknown supernatural/God-given powers, alone, unobserved? One of them demonstrably homocidal – and from the clunky “analysis” section before I guess we’re meant to assume he’s got the same Hannibal Lecter manipulative talk going on?

It doesn’t take long for Ryuzaki to convince golden-hearted Aoi that Ryuzaki has been wrongfully locked up – that on the outside he could help people? If only Aoi could use his powers on the prison guard, Ryuzaki could then heal him and they can… escape together into the night? Ryuzaki riffs on the X-Men ‘we’re all mutants together’, with a soupcon of ‘no-one understands~ us’ and appeals to Aoi’s sense of justice… and that they have BOTH killed. Perhaps they are not so dissimilar! Maybe they are two sides of the same coin? Wouldn’t they have been better doing a Janus reference here rather than Orthrus? Bed of suspenseful sub-Halloween campygoth music runs. And runs. Irritating. Aoi, convinced by this murderer he’s known for about 2 minutes, grabs the Prison Guy in a bear hug.


The pulse thumps through his body. It’s a really good effect! The creepy eye roll happens again, even more shuddersome this time. Aoi races back to the cell and releases Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki appears to be in no great rush to come out and revive Prison Guy. Strike me down! Aoi is all but hopping from foot to foot. Ryuzaki heads over to the detective, puts his hands to him… and lifts his wallet and gun. Wuh-wah! Welcome to the land of Who Saw THAT Coming.

“Even I, can’t bring back the dead. when humans die, that;’s the end of them”.

Someone has a God complex huh? Oh god. “WE’re the result of evolution. Perhaps the ones with no powers should b efiltered out”. Oh m mnust we?

Aoi depestartely grabs for Ryuzaki’s ankle but is knocked out. Just as I am about to type about how I feel totally terrible for Aoi here – a baroque twiddle? Frothy europop that sounds a bit like “Spice up your life”? It’s the obligatory Tackey theme tune, which plays over another good 10 minutes of action in an, interesting, editorial decision? The theme tune is haughty and hysterical, and totally Tackey. It’s a shame that it’s not at all… RYUZAKI and is the WORST song they could play right at the middle of the first episodes pivotal DE-NOU-MENT! As soon as it ends, back to gothic guitars of angst. I mean, Tackey is hardly ever going to release a Blue Oyster Cult cover version, no matter what a bad bastard his drama character plays, but… eh??? Don’t put his frothy, Latin-lite song right over totally inapproriate events!

Ryuzaki turns the gun on Aoi. Of course he’s not going to heal him. No-one can bring the dead back to life. Ryuzaki knocks him out, legs it and does the classic “nick coppers outfit and wander out NO-ONE SHALL SUSPECT ME” hoosit. He wanders out. No-one suspects him.
Except UCD, who has clearly seen ANY PRISON BREAK SHOW EVER and is ploughing her own lonely furrow – seriously does she never have any backups encountering the Bad Bastards? She corners him with the gun. But, Ryuzaki reminds her, if she shot him – think of all the people he could cure that he wouldn’t be able to? Just in case we’d forgotten: flashback to her small child’s ASTHMA DIARY. He edges closer, whilst UCD thinks solemnly about all the sick and injured people in the world. Nicks the gun.





I predict I might make about four more episodes of this. It depends whether it goes more “Angel” (needs lots more Tackey), or focuses more on Nishikido who has been kinda… disappointing so far? After I really liked him in Ryuusei no Kizuna – wah. On saying that, it’s early days, and all Tackey has done so far has been a villain by numbers with some special effects on his hands. Hikaru has been the best. Go Hikaru!!



  1. nice novel, congratulations

  2. Watched entire drama. Hikaru was the most convincing after Tackey ( Who covers up by being sexy..). I totally don’t like Ryo, so I fastforward any thing not Tackey & Hikaru.

    Any ways, this is a cheesy Heroes rip off.. You know Heroes? May be not..

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